Site icon Elizabeth Valera, LPC

More than costumes and candy…

Re-member us,

you who are living

restore us, renew us.

Speak for our silence.

Continue our work.

Bless the breath of life.

Sing of the hidden patterns.

Weave the web of peace.

-Judith Anderson

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good costume and some mini chocolate bars, but the spooky costumes and sweet candy of Halloween are just one aspect of this special time of year.  This is also a time when multiple traditions acknowledge the connection between ourselves and those who have gone before us.   Regardless of your faith tradition or cultural background, this can be an opportunity to re-member those who have died recently,  in years past, or even distant ancestors who paved the way for us.

Why do I use a ‘dash’ in re-membering?

The process of thinking about those who have died is a way of recreating their place as a member of our circle.  In re-membering, we are keeping a space for them at the table, we create a place for them in our life story, we allow the important aspects of their lives to influence our lives again and again.  Re-membering is an active process, not just thinking about the past, but bringing the lives of our most important people into the present.

How do you create a space for re-membering?

Pictures, special items belonging to your loved one, or symbols of what they stood for, can be used to focus your attention on the important impact of your person.  You might make a special point to share memories of the person, highlighting the characteristics you hope to re-member and carry forward.  You might consider doing something in your community to honor a special cause your loved one supported, or simply visit one of their favorite places. Doing something they taught you, or something that they always wanted to do can also be great ways of re-membering.  The most important, is that you re-member in the way that feels right for you and is consistent with your person’s personality….quirks, flaws and all!

For more on Re-Membering check out this article on the Pixar movie “Coco” from the ladies at What’s Your Grief?



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